Knees And Toes

Leif was excited.  It was Picture Day!  Mommy had dressed him up in his favorite outfit: his special black pants that shimmered a dark blue when the light hit them just right, his navy blue shirt with lightning bolts that streaked up and down the sides of his sleeves, and his new shoes that lit up every time he took a step.  She’d even gotten him a haircut and let them spike it!  He couldn’t wait to show everyone.

Leif stomped his feet all the way to Mrs. Birch’s kindergarten class, watching his shoes light up with a bright red flash as he clapped each foot down upon the floor.  He looked up as he entered the room, seeing each of his classmates as primly dressed as he was, hurrying toward their seats before the bell rang.  Leif followed suit, quickly hanging his coat and backpack before rushing to his seat – only an instant before the ascending tone was heard across campus.

Once the bell had rung the class rose to say the Pledge of Allegiance.  Mary Haskell, a Fourth Grader, read the announcements over loudspeaker from the principal’s office.  Leif wondered what she’d done wrong to get that punishment.

Jill Jessup had won a contest in second grade art class for most creative collage.  Adam Wilson from Chess Club had made it to a state competition.  It was almost time for Little League tryouts, but Leif wasn’t old enough.  There were other announcements, but they just weren’t very interesting.  He wanted to show his outfit to his friends.

After announcements were finished – they seemed to take FOREVER – the class had to trace letters and color pictures of things whose names started with that letter.  Today’s class was about the letter L.

Didn’t Mrs. Birch know that he already knew that letter?  Leif suddenly looked at his papers half-expecting to find a blank picture of himself waiting to be colored.  Instead he found a cartoon lion and a lemon.  When was it going to be picture time?!

Leif let out a heavy sigh, soliciting a warning look from Mrs. Birch, before getting to work.  He’d already done L bunches of times with Mommy.  Why did he have to do it now?  It just wasn’t FAIR!

He was, of course, the first person in class to finish tracing L’s and to color the lion and lemon.  Just to be silly – and because he had nothing else to do, he’d made the lion blue and the lemon red.  When he told the teacher he was finished, though, she told him to “play quietly until the other students finish.”

He didn’t WANT to play right now: Not by himself, anyway.  Balling up his fists, he looked Mrs. Birch square in the eye and told her so.  That was when she made him sit at his seat and put his head down.

It seemed like hours before Mrs. Birch let him get up, and by then it was circle time.  Everyone gathered around the teacher as she began reading a story about a princess and her fairy godmother.  Leif wondered if he would EVER get to do anything fun today.  Eventually a prince showed up and put a glass shoe on the princess’s foot, and they lived happily ever after.  The shoe didn’t even light up!  What kind of story was that?  That was just stupid, mushy girl stuff.

When Mrs. Birch had finished reading Cinderella and put the book away, everyone stood and began singing Knees and Toes.  As the other kids began singing along, they’d touch their fingers to the body part mentioned in the song.  They’d done this at least a bajillion times, Leif thought.  Why couldn’t they do something fun?

Head, shoulders, knees, and toes

Knees and toes

Head, shoulders, knees, and toes

Knees and toes

And eyes and ears and mouth

And nose

Head, shoulders, knees, and toes

Knees and toes

When the song was finished, everyone sat back down for class discussion.  Mrs. Birch announced that picture time for their class was going to be after recess.  Leif scowled, but made no objection; he didn’t want to have to sit in Time Out again.

Jodi Richardson, one of his girlfriends, sat next to him and smiled at him.  She made him feel funny when she did that – like when his pretty Aunt Jane kissed his cheek.  Jodi had sparkles in her hair today, and a sparkly white dress.  Her parents must have wanted her to look cool for pictures, too, Leif thought.

He didn’t like her very much, so he gave her a dirty look and stuck his tongue out at her as she smiled at him.  She was only his girlfriend because she threatened to beat him up after school if he broke up with her.  And there it was: that look.  She was going to chase him all across the playground at recess, kiss him, and mess up the spikes in his hair before pictures.  It was definitely going to be gross – especially with all of those shiny sparkles!  He giggled to himself with embarrassment as he thought about it.

Leif looked around as the other students were getting up, instantly realizing that it was finally time to go play: He could show all of his friends his cool new hair and shoes!  Looking over again, he could see that Jodi was about to reach over and give him a kiss on the cheek.  No way!

Getting up as fast as he could, Leif bolted for the door and out onto the playground.  He wanted everyone to see what Mommy had gotten him for Picture Day, but there was no way that girl was going to be kissing HIM right before pictures!